What is good wedding invitation etiquette?
November 10, 2009
My mother in law is planning a ceremony for my husband and I to get married in front of our friends and family members, we already had a small ceremony between us and GOD. She is planning a backyard event, and we are going to invite 70-80 people, we know that only half can show up. I need assistance in creating the best most inexpensive of invitations to this event.Any Ideas are welcome.Since my husband and I are already married, and have been living together for 2years, I don’t know how beneficial it would be to us to register at a bridal registery. My mother in law says to politely ask for money only, somehow in the invitations, is that rude?We are very low income, so we are trying to do this on a very low budget.
I agree with using an invitation kit from a mass-store. I’ve linked to a very simple folding one that works out to around a dollar an invitation with postage (not counting shipping, tax, or return postage.)
There’s also willow tree lane where you can order value packages of 100 invites, response cards, inner envelope, response envelope, and tissue starting at under $125. There is even at least one that’s under $100. Outer envelopes are under $20 – an extra charge, but it’s a good price to have your invitations professionally done (not that much more than the Target ones!!).
No, you should not make *any* reference to a gift anywhere in the invitations – especially a cash gift. If people call to ask your grandmother where you are registered, she can tell them that you prefer a cash gift to ‘help with XXX’ (like the purchase of your new home, to pay for the honeymoon, to finance a new car, etc.). It also can’t hurt to register somewhere. Try a local branch of a May Company Store (Filene’s, Meier & Frank, Foley’s, Robinson May) and this way if you can’t use the gifts, you can exchange them for a gift card and buy clothes or something.
Congratulations on your marriage and good luck!
edited to add: I don’t know why the Target link won’t show up, but it’s on the target.com website. Search for ‘wedding invitations’.
5 Responses to “What is good wedding invitation etiquette?”
Yes, it is considered rude. There is no polite way to note that on the invite. You should also never note where you are registered on the invitation. Although it’s polite for a wedding guest to bring a present to a wedding, it’s not an obligation. That’s why it’s a gift! Noting preferences or registry locations implies that a gift is required.
However, you CAN make a verbal request to this effect. As the RSVP’s come in, you can call the folks who you’re certain will bring a gift and make the request. Sometimes, the guests will call you to ask about a registry location or a preferred gift. That’s the time to make your polite suggestion.
Also, I don’t know where you live, but there are regional norms that can influence gifts. As a "Yankee" who married a Southern man, there was a distinct culture clash. Where I grew up, cash was the traditional wedding gift. In the South, however, a cash wedding gift is taboo! People will insist on giving you a thing, whether you want it or not. This results in some truly heinous presents! Think ceramic chickens.
References :
By sweetpeanc1245 on Nov 11, 2009
Why not just print up your own ‘announcements’ from your PC and printer and keep it as simple as you want. Suggest ‘a gathering of friends and family’ to celebrate with us in our marriage. In my opinion, to mention gifts is rude and unethical unless to say, "No Gifts Please". Some will likely bring them anyway.
Cheers!
References :
By Aldara on Nov 11, 2009
My suggestion would be to purchase some nice paper and print the invites from your home PC and just buy a spool of ribbon and affix your own ribbon to add a little flare to the invite and just make a small note at the bottom that monetary gifts would be greatly appreciated, or you can open an account at your bank and tell guests that those that wish to give a gift can make a monteary deposit at a certain bank. It might make you feel more comfortable.
References :
By amyristevski on Nov 11, 2009
Do not ask for money. When the guests get the invitation and there is no mention of a registry, they will know to give cash. If you do not have a shower, then there is no reason for a registry. You may make out better, though, if ppl figure they did not have to buy a shower gift and wedding gift. Also, invitations, I just got mine from ebay. You print them yourself and they come in a kit with ribbons, nice paper, ect. Everything you need is in the box.
here is a link to get you started, just surf around. you will save half of what these kits cost in the stores, like Michael’s or Jo-Ann’s.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=26386&item=5671522808
that was the item i bought, to see ones for sale just click on the main catergory at the top of the page "invitations" and see for yourself. mine turned out great.
References :
By adrixia on Nov 11, 2009
I agree with using an invitation kit from a mass-store. I’ve linked to a very simple folding one that works out to around a dollar an invitation with postage (not counting shipping, tax, or return postage.)
There’s also willow tree lane where you can order value packages of 100 invites, response cards, inner envelope, response envelope, and tissue starting at under $125. There is even at least one that’s under $100. Outer envelopes are under $20 – an extra charge, but it’s a good price to have your invitations professionally done (not that much more than the Target ones!!).
No, you should not make *any* reference to a gift anywhere in the invitations – especially a cash gift. If people call to ask your grandmother where you are registered, she can tell them that you prefer a cash gift to ‘help with XXX’ (like the purchase of your new home, to pay for the honeymoon, to finance a new car, etc.). It also can’t hurt to register somewhere. Try a local branch of a May Company Store (Filene’s, Meier & Frank, Foley’s, Robinson May) and this way if you can’t use the gifts, you can exchange them for a gift card and buy clothes or something.
Congratulations on your marriage and good luck!
edited to add: I don’t know why the Target link won’t show up, but it’s on the target.com website. Search for ‘wedding invitations’.
References :
http://www.target.com/gp/detail.html/sr=1-9/qid=1147737896/ref=sr_1_9/602-9819296-9087043?%5Fencoding=UTF8&asin=B0007XE7PO
http://www.nationalweddingnetwork.com/gifts/OnlineShopping/FB?Dsp=5501
http://www.willowtreelane.com/caspage1.cfm?prev=1&TempPrev=0&blnPreviewRequestSubmitted=0&recordsperpage=12&CompletedOrder=0&sBasketID=0&Group=DS4CasEnsZW&alogo=1&menu=None&morethanonepage=YES&HostDomain=0&FirstTimeThrough=1&option=caspage1.cfm&format=DS4CasEnsZW&CFID=17183894&CFTOKEN=1079009
By republicansarecruel on Nov 11, 2009