Wedding Invitation Wording?
December 27, 2009
Hi,
I’ve been going back and forth on so many aspects of my wedding invitations. One moment I think I have it, then I read a new guide/post/discussion on wedding etiquette and I am up in chaos again. This is what’s going on:
1) My parents divorced when I was 11
2) My Mom remarried when I was 12
3) My mom and step-father divorced when I was 20
4) My Dad remarried when I was 22
5) My step-father is still a huge part of my life and I still call him dad even legally now he is not
6) We will not be serving alcohol at the reception but might possibly have a champagne toast
7) We do not want kids under the age of 15 attending for location and budget reasons
All parties here are chipping in for the cost of the wedding along with me and my fiance. I don’t want to leave anyone exluded and have worded my invitation for the hosting as:
“Together with their families
<My name>
and
<my Fiances’ name>…”
As for the no children part, I included the last line with,
“Adults only reception to immediately follow in the back gardens”
On the reception card, I want to somehow name out all my parents and would like to use previous advice with,
Ms. <My mom’s name>
Mr. and Mrs. <My dad’s full name to include my step-mom>
Mr. <Stepfather’s name>
Request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception
following the ceremony
in the back gardens of the mansion
Does this ramble too much? Is there a way to streamline it a bit?
Also, I want to include more information on the ‘no-kids’ part by somewhere including our wedding site address where we speak more on our reason not to include kids along with the cut off age. Where would be the best place to include this information? On the invitation or the reception card?
I know everyone has their own opinions on whether or not kids should be invited but as we are on a budget especially with the economy, to invite all the kids in both our families would add too much expense to our wedding for us to reasonably afford.
You’re not obligated to invite children to your wedding, but you’d let your guests know who is invited only by listing the names of the guests invited on the inner envelope and omitting the names of those you do not want to invite.
Your wording would depend on the formality and venue. The wording you are using is informal and not usually used for a church wedding.
Get yourself a good wedding etiquette book like Peggy Post’s Etiquette which should serve you well.
9 Responses to “Wedding Invitation Wording?”
Wow.
You don’t need to inform the wedding guests if there will be alcohol there or not. People should not come to weddings expecting alcohol for free anyway.
The invitation should have something along the lines of it being adults only, especially if the ceremony and reception are both to be no kids allowed.
Regarding the wording with the parents… I have no idea. Good luck on that. There are some sites around that can help with wording.
References :
By Terri on Dec 27, 2009
You could either do
Your Name & Fiance
TOgehter with their families
Invite you to join them for their wedding
DATE
in
City, State
You could put a small card in the invitation saying, "the bride and groom have requested an adult only reception and ceremony*
and I agree, you don’t need to inform them about alcohol.
References :
By bseig06 on Dec 27, 2009
You’re not obligated to invite children to your wedding, but you’d let your guests know who is invited only by listing the names of the guests invited on the inner envelope and omitting the names of those you do not want to invite.
Your wording would depend on the formality and venue. The wording you are using is informal and not usually used for a church wedding.
Get yourself a good wedding etiquette book like Peggy Post’s Etiquette which should serve you well.
References :
http://www.topweddingquestions.com/forum/Wedding_Invitations_C23/Wedding_Invitation_Wording%2C_Addressing_%26_Etiquette_F40/
http://www.topweddingsites.com/wedding_invitations_announcements.html
By weddingqueen on Dec 27, 2009
Wow….OK….so many questions.
First of all….you have the wording on your invite PERFECT! It would be very, very distracting to list all the names. Definitely go with "Together with their families."
On the reception card….No, no, no. Do not list all the names. I have never seen that and it’s a bit confusing. A reception card never lists anyone’s name(s). AND, this would be the perfect opportunity to expand on your "adults only" information.
So, for the reception card:
Please join us for an adult reception
(those age 16 and over)
following the ceremony in the
back gardens of the mansion.
For more information, please
refer to our wedding website at:
xxxxxxxxxx
I do understand if you want to mention everyone’s name, but this can be done in a wedding program or by giving a toast at the reception. OR….people don’t really need to know! Really! There are so many blended families now, everyone understands.
References :
By iloveweddings on Dec 27, 2009
You are not writing a novel, you are inviting people to an important ocassion.
The rest of this is nonsense. Have you ever been to a wedding? Have you ever hosted a party?
The balancing act is this: you want people to dedicate a long day to your celebration. Why should they bother? If you’re serving Bud Lite and beenieweenies, they might prefer to stay home.
Thus: invite people who give a damn about you. If there are only 15 people on earth who give a damn about you, deal with it.
References :
By Jen on Dec 27, 2009
Ok on the invitations only put the names of people who are hosting (paying) for the wedding. Simple as that.
If your father and step mom are paying put their names only (or maybe add your mother’s name on another line to let people know you are her daughter).
If you and your fiance are paying then put your names as hosting and leave out the parents or put your names and then daugther of (dad and mother’s name only no step parents) and then son of (parents).
On the RSVP for the reception put ADULT only reception. And at the bottom of the invitation you can also put adult only reception to follow.
References :
By An excellent advice giver on Dec 27, 2009
Both of my parents are deceased and I wanted to put my siblings names even though my fiance and I are paying for the wedding. However after reading your answers I think I may also go with “Together with their families”. Thanks for the help!
By Barb on Dec 28, 2009
I am an invitation designer and find that more and more couples are opting to exclude small children from both the wedding and reception. Concerns are usually about disruptive behavior, budget, and safety issues. My current clients’ wedding will take place at a friend’s home with a large unfenced swimming pool. We plan to include the “adults only” message first on the Save the Date card along with e-mail addresses for both bride and groom for “questions, comments and congratulations” since they don’t want to manage a wedding website.
The “adults only” wording will also be on the RSVP card with the formal invitation, but they are hoping to deal with it up front more informally by way of the Save the Date. My past experience has shown that a lot of people REALLY ARE CLUELESS and will RSVP for the entire family even though the “Mr. and Mrs.” are the only ones addressed on the envelope.
By Joyce Mizock on Feb 5, 2010
Help- daugther getting married we (her parents) are hosting the wedding – however mother in law wants their names on the wedding invitation as well- how do I handled this?
By confused in TX on Feb 23, 2010