Comments on: Wedding invitation etiquette–separated couples?

By: apbanpos

apbanpos — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:29:52 +0000

Send it to the cousin's address, not the wife's.

If you KNOW they are filing for divorce and just waiting for it to be final – you can just address it to him and him alone.
(And you do not invite her separately unless they are divorced (or really close) and you have a close personal relationship with her that is individual of your cousin (which it seems you do not). If you only know her through your cousin, then since that connection is broken, you are not obliged to invite her).

However, if you aren't sure then address it to Mr. & Mrs. XYZ -but sent just to the cousin, and let him make the call as to whether to include her or not.

And do not treat them as "singles" as they are not. They get one invitation. And do NOT use "and guest" as he still is a married man.

I know when my brother and his wife first seperated, they still attended many events together until they decided that it WAS over and filed for divorce.
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By: Barbara B

Barbara B — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:27:35 +0000

Send them separate invitations to their separate residences.

Address these invitations only to them:

Ms. Mary Jane Smith

Mr. Thomas J. Smith
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By: dingding

dingding — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:25:54 +0000

If they are living apart, I would treat them as if they were single people. You may invite one or both of them, but send the invites to them separately at their new residences.
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By: Brown Eyed Girl ;)

Brown Eyed Girl ;) — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:24:08 +0000

If you're not close to his ex-wife and never were, don't invite her. Invite him… he's still family!
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By: Messykatttt

Messykatttt — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:23:04 +0000

I know it sounds strange, but I'm pretty sure the etiquette on this is that it's not proper to bring a date when you're still legally married to someone else. So, since you're not close and don't know the specifics, I'd invite him and his wife and let him sort if out. For all you know, they may be back together by then or he might want to invite her if she just wants to see other family members. But inviting him "...and guest" doesn't make sense to me at this point.
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By: ★skyblue

★skyblue — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:15:57 +0000

Send one invitation to the cousin.
"Mr. Smith and Guest"
Let him decide if he wants to bring his wife or not.
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By: Georgia Girl

Georgia Girl — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:10:02 +0000

I would send seperate invitations so you can be sure that there are no problems involved
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By: Mrs. Nguyen in 12 days

Mrs. Nguyen in 12 days — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:08:15 +0000

If you are not close to the future ex-wife, just invite your cousin and write "and guest" …just to give him room if things get better.

Best of luck!
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By: Missy

Missy — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:07:15 +0000

if you are not close to the the ex, just invite your relative and put Mr. Smith and guest
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By: Maryn Bittner

Maryn Bittner — Wed, 21 May 2008 14:04:52 +0000

I'd send separate invitations to each, since they're not living together. I'd address one to Mr. John Smith, and the other to Ms. Sarah Smith (no "Mrs." but still the married last name). I don't know if this is proper wedding etiquette, but IMO, common sense trumps etiquette so long as no one's feelings are hurt.
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