Wedding invitation etiquette–separated couples?
July 24, 2008
We recently found out that my fiance's cousin has separated from his wife. Originally, we were going to address the invitations as "Mr. & Mrs. John Smith." Now that they're separated, do we still invite both of them? (They live on the other side of the country, so we're not close with either of them–this is pure etiquette). If we invite both of them, do we invite "Mr. & Mrs. Smith", or do we send separate invitations to each of their new residences?
Definitely send them separate invitations. You might want to ask relatives if the soon-to-be ex-wife has gone back to using her maiden name and in that case you should address her with that. I agree that since you aren't that close to them you might just want to invite the cousin, but it's up to you.
14 Responses to “Wedding invitation etiquette–separated couples?”
You aren't close to either I would send an invitation to the cousin but not the soon to be ex. Chances are he won't come anyway.
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By luvhrlysnjager2 on May 21, 2008
Just invite his cousin
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By Brian's Wife on May 21, 2008
If you're not close to them, I would just send the invitation to the cousin. You can still address it to Mr. and Mrs….and more than likely, if you're not close, neither will come. If the cousin comes, he won't bring his wife if they're separated. And she probably won't care because it's his family, not hers.
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By Diznikki on May 21, 2008
Definitely send them separate invitations. You might want to ask relatives if the soon-to-be ex-wife has gone back to using her maiden name and in that case you should address her with that. I agree that since you aren't that close to them you might just want to invite the cousin, but it's up to you.
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By kno.it.all on May 21, 2008
I'd send separate invitations to each, since they're not living together. I'd address one to Mr. John Smith, and the other to Ms. Sarah Smith (no "Mrs." but still the married last name).
I don't know if this is proper wedding etiquette, but IMO, common sense trumps etiquette so long as no one's feelings are hurt.
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By Maryn Bittner on May 21, 2008
if you are not close to the the ex, just invite your relative and put Mr. Smith and guest
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By Missy on May 21, 2008
If you are not close to the future ex-wife, just invite your cousin and write "and guest" …just to give him room if things get better.
Best of luck!
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By Mrs. Nguyen in 12 days on May 21, 2008
I would send seperate invitations so you can be sure that there are no problems involved
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By Georgia Girl on May 21, 2008
Send one invitation to the cousin.
"Mr. Smith and Guest"
Let him decide if he wants to bring his wife or not.
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By ★skyblue on May 21, 2008
I know it sounds strange, but I'm pretty sure the etiquette on this is that it's not proper to bring a date when you're still legally married to someone else.
So, since you're not close and don't know the specifics, I'd invite him and his wife and let him sort if out. For all you know, they may be back together by then or he might want to invite her if she just wants to see other family members.
But inviting him "…and guest" doesn't make sense to me at this point.
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By Messykatttt on May 21, 2008
If you're not close to his ex-wife and never were, don't invite her. Invite him… he's still family!
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By Brown Eyed Girl ;) on May 21, 2008
If they are living apart, I would treat them as if they were single people. You may invite one or both of them, but send the invites to them separately at their new residences.
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By dingding on May 21, 2008
Send them separate invitations to their separate residences.
Address these invitations only to them:
Ms. Mary Jane Smith
Mr. Thomas J. Smith
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By Barbara B on May 21, 2008
Send it to the cousin's address, not the wife's.
If you KNOW they are filing for divorce and just waiting for it to be final – you can just address it to him and him alone.
(And you do not invite her separately unless they are divorced (or really close) and you have a close personal relationship with her that is individual of your cousin (which it seems you do not). If you only know her through your cousin, then since that connection is broken, you are not obliged to invite her).
However, if you aren't sure then address it to Mr. & Mrs. XYZ -but sent just to the cousin, and let him make the call as to whether to include her or not.
And do not treat them as "singles" as they are not. They get one invitation. And do NOT use "and guest" as he still is a married man.
I know when my brother and his wife first seperated, they still attended many events together until they decided that it WAS over and filed for divorce.
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By apbanpos on May 21, 2008