Wedding invitation etiquette regarding "no gift box" request?

September 14, 2009

My fiance and I are getting married in his country. Pretty much straight after the wedding, we plan to move back to the country we live in. We both know that any gifts his relatives might give us will be difficult to be carried back to our country. We’re thinking of writing "no gift box" on our invitation card that encourage people to give money instead of gifts cos it will mean much more to us then. The thing is that we really dont know how to write it in a polite way and to write it in the way that people would understand and not getting offended by it. Please help!!! Any advices is appreciated! THANKS

If you’re going to write "No boxed gifts" ("no gift box" doesn’t make sense), then you might as well just sell tickets to the wedding instead. You never directly tell a guest what to give you as a gift. The gift is of their choosing.

Unless you’re inviting a whole bunch of people to your wedding that neither you nor your fiance know, then people already understand your issue of transporting bulky objects, and will likely give you money in one form or another (cash, checks, gift cards). Leave it at that.

Posted in: wedding invitation etiquette

  1. 15 Responses to “Wedding invitation etiquette regarding "no gift box" request?”

  2. I think that would be rude.
    Maybe just ask your closest family and friends to spread the word for you and have them explain the situation. I’m sure people will understand but I think putting it on the invitation would be a bad idea.

    Congrats, by the way!
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    By Meli on Sep 15, 2009

  3. I wouldn’t write it on the actual card. Maybe you could print a small card, like a business card, that says "No gifts, please."
    You could gently explain the situation in smaller case letters underneath. I really don’t know how you could ask for money though, without being too aggressive. I would just use the "No gifts, please" and hope for a monetary donation instead.
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    By Amy K on Sep 15, 2009

  4. It is considered rude to mention gifts at all on an invite. Have your bridal party spread the word but don’t mention it formally. MOST people give money these days because it is easier. We got presents in the mail after the fact and got maybe 4 actual gifts at the wedding and over 100 envelopes with money and gift cards
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    By Mrs. Knowles! on Sep 15, 2009

  5. Its in bad taste to ask for cash. All you can really do is have your families spread the word to guests. You can also have them tell people to have the gifts sent to your home (or an address in the country you will be living in). Then your guests will be able to give you gifts and you won’t have to worry about traveling with them.
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    By SheRa333 on Sep 15, 2009

  6. Although it is very understandable why you wish to not receive gifts, when one reads the words No Gifts for some it will also mean No Gift. Meaning also Money.
    Spread the word that you would rather have Gift Cards, Travelers Checks, something other than the word Cash or Money. I would much rather give a Gift Card so you could use it as you need items. One large item one time or small items as needed. You could also set up a Bank Account in the area you will be traveling to and have your guests wire their gifts to your bank. All they have to do is contact their bank for a wire transfer.
    Explain to your Bridal Party your reasons and have your Groom explain it to his so everyone will have a clear understanding of your reasons and how much of a dilemma this is for you with traveling and concerns over shipping gifts.
    Best Wishes
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    Wedding Minister

    By twooaksweddingminister on Sep 15, 2009

  7. Traditionally, gifts should not even be mentioned on the wedding invitations. Registry information is supposed to be spread by word-of-mouth, though often in this day and age you can find it on the couple’s wedding website. Choose a favorite charity, and ask that donations be made to it in your names.
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    By Bride, bridesmaid and MOH 2008! on Sep 15, 2009

  8. there is no polite way. all you can do is enlist family, friends and your bridal party to spread the word on your behalf.
    about the only other thing i can think of is if you are in the habit of writing to the folks who are coming to the wedding you could write a nice newsy letter about the big move! how excited you are to start your new life together in ‘the new country’ etc. etc. and how you hope they will be able to attend the wedding as it will be some time before you get to visit ‘the old country’ again! don’t mention gifts, nothing! they will get the point without your being rude and asking for money. some folks will still undoubtedly buy gifts but be grateful and gracious about whatever you receive.
    good luck and happy wedding!
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    By OZZIEGAL on Sep 15, 2009

  9. I think if you write ‘no gifts’ then people will take that as no gifts at all (even gifts of money). I don’t think that there is a polite way of asking for money instead of gifts on the invitation.

    I would ensure that all of your guests are aware that you will be going back to your country after the wedding (this might give them the hint). If you are having an engagement party/bridal shower/bachelorette party this would be a good time to bring it up in speeches (mention how nice it is that you are able to celebrate your wedding here before you move back to your country).

    Also tell your parents and bridal party that if anyone asks for gift suggestions that they could politely explain the situation about moving countries and not being able to take much with you so money or gifts that can easily be packed would be the best.

    An alternative would be to have an online registry where guests could buy you gifts online and get them delivered to your new address. I’m not sure where you live but I have heard of at least one department store that allows people from other countries to purchase from their store online.
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    By Jess on Sep 15, 2009

  10. I have heard having a private web page registry is becoming popular
    What I would suggest, although I am not sure the ettiqute is to register with a few stores for small gifts only. Have your maid of honor or a family member set up a myspace or similar website you are locked out of with all of your registries located on the same page. Also pertinent information about the wedding and such. People can leave comments on the purchased items so no one get you the same thing and it can be noted polity on the page that you ar requesting small gifts because of the move and perhaps something about how as a new couple moving so suddenly it would most likely be helpful if donations could be made or perhaps have her start a fund for something specific, like plan tickets or something that people can donate a bit towards a group gift.
    the word gets spread this way and if people throw in together on a travel exspense or something then they wont feel like it’s a request for cold hard cash, but you can still reap the benefits.
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    By kitty on Sep 15, 2009

  11. we have the same issue in that we plan on leaveing the country and moving to a new one soon after being married and will not be able to take gifts with us. we are going to request no gifts whena sked and hope that those that wish to give give money instead. the cost of shipping is just silly
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    By Mrs_M_2010 on Sep 15, 2009

  12. you should never mention gifts on an invitation! Im not sure what country you are getting married in, so I dont know about thier ettiquette. Im from the states and mentioning gifts on an invite is a very bad idea! If you have registries in that country, you can simply do not register and many people will give you money. Mention to family and close friends that you are hoping to get more money than gifts because you will have to ship the gifts back home. Word of mouth always travels fast. You are bound to get some gifts, though but you can keep them for many years to remind you of your wedding day
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    By Mrs.Sherman 10-3-08 on Sep 15, 2009

  13. Where are you getting married? I ask because I am half Greek and in our tradition people pin money to your dress (or to ribbons on your dress). One of my cousins ended up with £10,000!
    I think it would be tricky to ask overtly for money but if you worded something carefully, and asked a close relative to start the money pinning perhaps you could ‘adopt’ this tradition?

    How about something like?:

    We are so grateful that you will be joining us on our special day and hope you understand that because we will be leaving the country soon afterwards we cannot carry wedding gifts. However!… we thought it would be fun to adopt the Greek tradition of pinning money on the Bride! Obviously, when you have been kind enough to travel to be with us we do not expect you to do this but as we cannot transport presents we feel it is a fun alternative for anyone who wanted to give us a gift.

    I am sure you could word it better than I have, but something along those lines.

    The great thing about this is that people get competitive!

    Enjoy!
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    By Helicreature on Sep 15, 2009

  14. If you’re going to write "No boxed gifts" ("no gift box" doesn’t make sense), then you might as well just sell tickets to the wedding instead. You never directly tell a guest what to give you as a gift. The gift is of their choosing.

    Unless you’re inviting a whole bunch of people to your wedding that neither you nor your fiance know, then people already understand your issue of transporting bulky objects, and will likely give you money in one form or another (cash, checks, gift cards). Leave it at that.
    References :

    By Cupcake's Princess on Sep 15, 2009

  15. I foudn this idea and i thought it was cute. A way to ask for cash. Have a wedding wishing well. and in the invitation you can let them know. there is a website with all the things you can write.
    http://mag.weddingcentral.com.au/weddings/wishing_wells/index.htm

    or do a cash registry
    http://www.myregistry.com/CashGifts.aspx
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    By Just engaged!!! on Sep 15, 2009

  16. If i got an invite that said "no gift box" i would not have a clue as to what the heck that meant.

    Instead of putting something directly on the invite, put an insert in with the invitation and say something to the effect of:

    The Couple regrets to announce that they will not be able to provide transportation for any gifts, thus they will be unable to accept any at the ceremony. Please send any gifts to (your home address) prior to or following the wedding.
    Thank You!

    You shouldn’t specify anything about money gifts…people will pretty much be able to figure that one out.
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    By shmansy on Sep 15, 2009

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