Comments on: Wedding invitation etiquette?

By: PugMom

PugMom — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 00:54:59 +0000

Wow, Bridezillla is right! Your wedding may be the most important day of your life, but not others. Kindly call them and state that you hadn't received their response by the deadline and you need to know if they will be attending or not.
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By: krissy7490

krissy7490 — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 00:36:59 +0000

LOL! Sorry, but I remember how you feel and am soooo glad to be done with it! Dealing with invitations and the guest list is such a pain in the rear!

I would definitely enlist the help of your parents to call these people up and get their RSVPs. Stuff happens and for whatever reason people don’t always send theirs in on time. I know before I got married and understood wedding etiquette that I would throw out the RSVP card if I wasn’t going!

Good luck!
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By: truefirstedition

truefirstedition — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 00:19:59 +0000

How much more time do people have to send back their responses? If it’s several more weeks, then you are definitely overreacting. Most people send responses near the end of the period because their schedules firm up and they can give you a firm yes or no, which is much better for you than having people change their minds at the last minute.

If they only have a couple of days left, have your mom, friend, whoever call and follow up. They can say something as simple as "Hi Mrs. Jones, Suzie hasn’t received your RSVP for her wedding and we were concerned you never got your invitation. Has it arrived?"
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By: D4Pres2012

D4Pres2012 — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 23:39:59 +0000

wow, you never should have let yourself get bullied into inviting people you haven't seen since you were 2. I don't come from a cohesive family either and wouldn't invite most of them but I'm not getting married so that's besides the point. do you mean you only gave them 3 weeks to RSVP? you should have sent your invites earlier and allowed them more time to respond.
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By: Christine

Christine — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 23:08:59 +0000

Give a few days after the RSVP deadline, because they still need to travel to you. If you said "RSVP by September 9" some people will treat that as "get it in the mail by September 9".

If they haven’t RSVP’d then they are probably some of the people who think RSVP means "if you’re coming say so". Call them and say that you’d asked for an RSVP, not just for a response if they were coming. They’ll figure it out quickly enough.
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By: just me!

just me! — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 22:59:59 +0000

if you think they are all such losers why would you invite them? if they are such losers you wouldn’t care if you were an outcast! seems to me that for this moment in time you have signed your rant exactly right – but now that you have gotten it off your chest and calmed down you might consider the following:
first of all three weeks isn’t that long especially if some of the folks are coming from a distance. so giving them only three weeks to reply isn’t much time and that is something that is your fault – not theirs.
it may have taken a week for the invitation to reach them, they now have to look into travel arrangements, changing work schedules, finding babysitting, hotels reservations etc..
even those in town have to make arrangements whether it be in daycare, or a day off work for them. attending a wedding can be expensive once you tally up all the above as well as a gift – so you have to understand that they want to make sure they have their plans in place before mailing their response to you. the mail back could take a week to reach you as well.
i would suggest you don’t be phoning people or making scenes. people will get back to you a.s.a.p. and if they haven’t then you nicely ask your bridal party or family to give them a polite and friendly call asking them if they even received their invitation! mail does get lost at times so they may not have or they may have mailed their response and you never received it.
and if you ever get married again be a little more considerate and give folks more than three weeks notice of such an event!
if the bride phoned me after giving me short notice and had your attitude i wouldn’t be embarassed but i would be very offended at her lack of manners. i wouldn’t attend and i wouldn’t be sending a gift to someone so rude. – sorry but you did ask.

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By: ____

____ — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 22:38:59 +0000

Have his family call their family. Have your mom call your family. Just say that some replies got lost in the mail so we were wondering if you sent your in get. If the didn't than ask them if they will be joining them at _________ and _________ wedding on date.
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By: ..a mrs... :)

..a mrs... :) — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 22:24:59 +0000

Get your mom or some family member to call. I had my mom call people who I "had" to invite and check whether or not they were planning on coming. Though I do agree with you, it is incredibly rude to not reply by the deadline.
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By: Amie87

Amie87 — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 21:58:59 +0000

Not that I’m defending not rsvping on time, but it happens I’m sure not every one is being rude some may have a good reason. Anyway just split up the list of people between your bridesmaids and just have them say "hi this is so and so I’m {Your name here}’s bridesmaid. You missed the RSVP date so I’m just calling to see if you’re attending the wedding.". Most people probably forgot what date they needed to RSVP by or forgot what date today is.
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By: Kimmy5519

Kimmy5519 — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 21:25:59 +0000

Do you have a wedding planner or someone that is helping your coordinate? If you do let them do the the calling for you. Sometimes a third party is best and you will get a more accurate number for your guest list. If you call, people may say that they will attend, when they won't. Good Luck!
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