Is it okay to put registry inserts in the wedding invitation?

November 8, 2009

Okay, there’s the deal- my fiance’s cousin got married a few months ago, and they had a little insert from Target saying they were registered there, included with their invitation. We registered there today, and we got a little packet. In it, it said it’s not proper etiquette to put those in the actual wedding invitation, and they suggest just putting them in the wedding shower invitations. Me and my fiance didn’t see what the big deal is, because everyone’s just going to ask if we don’t put it in there anyway. Would it be okay to go ahead and put them in the invitations or no?
BTW- I will not be having a bridal/wedding shower- just a bachlorette party. So the wedding is the only time I would be receiving gifts. (Not that I’m trying to get the most I can or anything- just saying that putting them in a shower invitation isn’t an option anyway)

Etiquette says to NOT include gift registries in your wedding invites…however I have seen them plenty of times in there. Since you are not having a traditional shower, you could always let people know through word of mouth, or through an informal wedding page (you can create a free one on www.theknot.com). Or if you must, include them in your invites. Only real etiquette "snobs" would turn their noses at your gesture any way, every one else won’t really care.

Posted in: wedding invitation etiquette

  1. 17 Responses to “Is it okay to put registry inserts in the wedding invitation?”

  2. Most people will agree that it’s not proper etiquette. Wedding gifts are optional, and putting that in there implies that attending the wedding means buying a gift. It’s better to have your maid of honor include them in the shower invite, or let your guests ask. You’re welcome to do what you think is right though. Congratulations.
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    By Maria on Nov 8, 2009

  3. I dont see the big deal…I mean you are inviting them to a wedding and most people would like to know what the couple would want or like, so I dont really see a problem with it
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    My personal opinion

    By ♥dancing_queen♥ on Nov 9, 2009

  4. just do it…save yourself some stamps
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    By Mix M on Nov 9, 2009

  5. It is true that it is not proper etiquette to put any gift information in the wedding invitations. This is simply so guests don’t feel obligated to go to the registry, or give money etc. etc. You can put the insert in wedding shower invitations which are encouraged because more people are likely to go off the registry (especially at Target, Bed Bath & Beyond, Linens & Things etc.) that have a lot to offer in every price range for the shower gift. If you don’t have a shower, then when the wedding invitations go out if people want to know where you are registered they can call you or the family and ask. Otherwise they very well may just go to the store and check the registry when they are thinking of buying your gift. But yes it is in poor form to put any gift information in the formal wedding invitation.
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    By ekbaby83 on Nov 9, 2009

  6. NO! Follow the etiquette guidelines given to you from the Target store. Gifts should not be mentioned in wedding invitations. The only appropriate place is in the bridal shower invitations. Period. I’m sure your guests are smart enough to figure out where you may have registered, or they can do what they did years ago….call the family of the bride/groom to inquire if you are registered.
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    By iloveweddings on Nov 9, 2009

  7. Etiquette says to NOT include gift registries in your wedding invites…however I have seen them plenty of times in there. Since you are not having a traditional shower, you could always let people know through word of mouth, or through an informal wedding page (you can create a free one on http://www.theknot.com). Or if you must, include them in your invites. Only real etiquette "snobs" would turn their noses at your gesture any way, every one else won’t really care.
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    By Pooty Booty on Nov 9, 2009

  8. No way, no how.

    You know it’s not proper etiquette to do it, but you’re asking anyway. Seems to me you’re just looking for presents…or at least that’s what I’d think if I got a wedding invitation with a registry card inside. Tacky! Anyone you plan to invite to your wedding should be a close enough relative or friend to be able to ask you or your husband where you’re registered. Not everyone will and you will get some gifts you don’t particularly care for, but that’s just par for the course. Even if you *do* put your registry cards in your invitations, it doesn’t guarantee that people will purchase things from your registry, so do the classy thing and refrain.
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    Aloha :)

    By taraloha on Nov 9, 2009

  9. This is the way Etiquette looks at such matters. There is no requirement that guests give wedding gifts, therefore any hint that such gifts are EXCPECTED is rude. Since gifts ARE required for showers, we get a little wiggle room here, but you’re still on "iffy" ground when you try to direct the guests’ presumed generosity. Mannerly people handle this by creating opportunities for guests to ask "What sort of gift do you suggest?" If they ASK, then it’s OK to tell them. One way to create such opportunities is to call and confirm that invitations arrived safely at each household. Congrats and best wishes.
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    By kill_yr_television on Nov 9, 2009

  10. NO!

    You’re supposed to be inviting people because their presence would mean a lot to you. If you put registry information in, it sends the message that you’re all about gifts.

    You tell key people (mother of the bride, maid of honor) and they keep this information to themselves unless asked. People will ask if they want to know.

    P.S. My advice stands. It doesn’t matter if you’re having a shower or not. You tell key people and they advise those who ASK. You do NOT just print it up and shoot it out.
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    By Bill on Nov 9, 2009

  11. No, it’s not. Just ignore the inserts. Do not include any gift information in the invitation, on it, or with it. Let guests choose what they would like to bring as a gift. If someone is really stuck, they would ask your family.
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    By Lydia on Nov 9, 2009

  12. It is not proper etiquette. When I open a wedding invitation I dont want a little ad from Target popping out. Get the word out verbally or through your wedding website.
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    By g_mo10466 on Nov 9, 2009

  13. I researched this question and found it’s not proper to put the registry in the invitation. A few sites suggested that you tell everyone in your family and have the word spread from there. Most people will ask around if they don’t plan to give you money.

    Good luck and have a great marriage!
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    By Tostito on Nov 9, 2009

  14. The reason you don’t put them in the invitation is because then it looks like the people can’t come without buying you a gift also. As if you are inviting them with either the stipulation or assumption that they will buy you a gift.

    While most people who attend weddings do buy gifts for the couple, it should not be the reason you invite them or even an assumption. You should just be inviting them to have them share your day!

    Even if you mean no harm, it is tacky to do this. Of course, you may choose to do it if you want, it just will not be backed up with etiquette.
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    I’m a wedding planner.

    By valschmal on Nov 9, 2009

  15. So I was against it at first, as well. However, I’m not having a traditional shower, either. I’m putting registry information on our website, and thinking about putting them on an accommodation card in the invitation packet. I designed it where the front is the map, and the back is the accommodation/registry info. I’m not asking for gifts, but seriously? These people ::SHOULD:: be the people you love and adore, and as such, they shouldn’t care or be offended.

    Do what you want, if anyone is offended, they don’t have to come. If you can’t tell, I’m over the stuffy rules of “traditional” weddings. Check out a blog I read that may inject some much-needed sanity to your planning: http://www.2000dollarwedding.com

    By mt on Nov 10, 2009

  16. Doesn’t seem like a big deal to me. People are going to be buying you gifts, might as well help em out and tell them what you want. I find it quite helpful to know where the couple is registered.

    By Anon on Nov 16, 2009

  17. Please, do not include registry information in your wedding invite, no matter how tempting. If you must, include a web address -somewhere near the bottom of the invite – of a wedding webpage with information on the wedding, details on the love story, and a link to the registry should anyone choose to click it.

    It can be insulting, even hurtful, to receive an invite with a registry note in it, not just because it goes against etiquette but because many things can accitentally be implied or inferred from the wording chosen or from the act itself.

    The bride and groom should be thankful for the gifts they are given and the friendships they have.

    By Amonite on Nov 18, 2009

  18. I AGREE IT IS TACKY TO PUT THE REGISTRY INFO IN THE WEDDING INVITE. PLEASE DO NOT DO IT. THERE ARE OTHER WAYS OF LETTING PEOPLE KNOW WHERE YOU ARE REGISTERED. WEBSITES, EMAIL, BY PHONE .IN YOUR SHOWER INVITATION. IF YOU ARE HAVING OR GETTING A SHOWER.

    By chrissy on Aug 4, 2010

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