Comments on: If you are planning a very small church wedding is it poor etiquette to not invite the congregation ?

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By: Gracielacey

Gracielacey — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 05:47:59 +0000

No, you do not have to invite the congregation. Even if you attend the church, you only have to invite those people in their lives who are close to them and they feel comfortable coming.
You don’t have to address it at all. Pay the members of the church who are performing functions for you, and call it good. No one will be offended, this is common protocol for churches who essentially rent out thier services.
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By: melouofs

melouofs — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 05:04:59 +0000

I never heard of inviting the entire congregation of a church to a wedding in my life until I started looking in here, so I guess I'd have to say no, it isn't rude.
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By: mia2kl2002

mia2kl2002 — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 04:40:59 +0000

No, you do not have to invite the church members to your wedding, and I would not do that even if I wasn’t shy.

However, church etiquette is that members of a church parish are welcome to attend any event that takes place inside the church. In common practice, most church members do NOT attend weddings to which they are not invited, so you should not worry about that. Most of them probably wouldn’t even be interested in attending.

Even if a person does attend the wedding, that does NOT mean they would be welcome to attend the wedding reception, which is considered a totally separate, and personal, occasion.
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By: My thoughts

My thoughts — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 04:17:59 +0000

You do not need to invite all the parish members to either the wedding or to the reception. If your son-in-law and daughter prefer a smaller affair, keeping it simple and private meets their wishes and gives you more budget flexibility.
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By: dude4∞

dude4∞ — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 03:39:59 +0000

No, just invite who you want to be there. Although, don’t invite half the congregation and not the other half. That could be taken as an offense. Just invite family and really close friends and when people ask about it, just say that they only wanted a very small ceremony.
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Associate pastor at a church, my job duties include coordinating all the weddings here – some are small and private and some invite everyone.

By: ♥Jannah♥

♥Jannah♥ — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 02:51:59 +0000

no, invite who ever you want, it's your wedding.
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By: kay405

kay405 — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 02:12:59 +0000

You can invite whoever you want to the wedding. I was very close to my church family and had an open church wedding. A few Sundays before, it was announced when the wedding would be, and that everyone was invited.

However, many people at my church have sent out invitations, and never announced the wedding at church. It is totally up to you. Its also understandable if you don’t want to pay for that many people to eat! (And if the groom is terribly shy!) Send out invitations to only those you want to attend. Just because you are having it at that church doesn’t mean everyone can come.
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By: Courteepontsh

Courteepontsh — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 01:30:59 +0000

It’s THEIR wedding. They should be allowed to only have close friends and family if that’s all they want. You could put an annoucement in your church bulletin about them getting married or their engagment (the parents of so and so are delighted to announce the engagement of their daughter to so and so the son of blah yadda), but I certianly wouldn’t invite and entire congregation. If there are people from your church that you are close with or the bride and groom are close with you can invite them, after all if you (the parents) are paying for it, then you should be able to invite a few people as well.

How big is your congregation? I lived in a town of about 40,000 people and attended 1 of 2 catholic churches, so there was at least 9-10 (probably not as many regular attendees) thousand people there, and that would be insane and unexpected to invite all of them.

But as with everyone, I don’t believe it would be poor etiquette by any means.
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By: Erica W

Erica W — Tue, 12 Jan 2010 01:07:59 +0000

I dont think you should feel obligated to invite the whole congregation. If you are wanting it to be just relatives and close friends, then thats all it should be. I’m sure everyone will understand. If it is a big issue, consider inviting the congregation to a type of "gathering" in celebration…

I hate to compare these two things, but its like a funeral, sometimes anyone can come to the memorial service that is in the newspaper, but the actual burial can be reserved for close friends and family… once again, I’m sorry to compare these two things, but thats the only example I can think of right now
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