Wedding invitation etiquette. How do I make it clear on my invitation that there is no +1?
June 23, 2010
I go to a church where we have small group studies that 20-40 people attend (this is in a church of about 5000+ members). Now, generally the weddings at my church are practically open invitation, which I will certainly not have that. Well, in my small group, I am only going to invite like a little over half of the people. If i start inviting everyone, my wedding will be 300 plus people. I have been in so many small groups so I want to invite a lot of old friends and not just anyone because I’ve known them a few months in my new small group. I want to stop at 150. How do I tell people that they aren’t invited? Also, how do I word the invitation to let them know that only the people / person on the invitation is invited and they don’t have a ‘plus 1′ or ‘plus guest’ option???? Because there are going to be people that will assume their invited and just come. I need to let them know they’re not. I’m on a budget and the space I’m getting married in is too small. Also, this is a pre ordered plate dinner wedding.
Pre-fill the RSVP card for them like this:
Name: Miss Mary Smith
__ of __1__ accepts
That way its perfectly clear that only 1 person – Mary Smith – is invited.
Just be aware that etiquette says that if a person is married, engaged, or living with someone that they are supposed to be invited along with their spouse, fiance, or live-in. To invite a single unattached person solo is fine, but to invite a married or engaged person solo is a no-no.
Wedding Invitation Etiquette, and Proper word usage?
June 23, 2010
My fiance and I have been living on our own, and already have everything we need, or could imagine we would need, as far as wedding gifts go by. We would like to ask our guests if they chose to give a gift, that a gift of money is preferred.
I don’t want to offend anyone (my family is not as easily offended as his) however it will give us a chance to go on a really nice honeymoon before he gets deployed.
Any thoughts on how to say this nicely on an invitation?
If you would like to give a gift please consider a cash contribution towards our honeymoon.
This is awkward, but should not offend anyone!
Have a lovely wedding!
Muslim Wedding Etiquette?
January 30, 2010
I am honoured to have just received a wedding invitation from a Bangladeshi Muslim colleague. I have every intention of going, but I obviously do not wish to inadvertently cause offence (I’m white C of E).
Can anyone let me know what to expect from the Ceremony itself…advise me on what to wear, including appropriate head covering… what are appropriate gifts, and if money then how much?
The Bride herself has far too much to do at the moment to bother her with such questions, and my other Asian friends are either Hindu or from different provinces/countries… so I am hoping someone on here can help 
Thanks in advance!
Thanks King Aqua … a subdued trouser suit, with something bright in the headscarf/shawl line should be fine then?
What about gifts?
Thanks Xlnc
II know that the Bride’s Father and his family are quite conservative, which is why I have decided on trousers (much easier to avoid any inadvertent skin showing!)… I’m now thinking of a rather elegant, sleeved tunic style top, probably in gold with black embroidery and beadwork and a matching scarf …
I’m in the UK and lucky enough to live in a very cosmopolitan town so I can get one of the local tailors to make the top for me in time for the wedding and do the beadwork myself (it is only 3 weeks away). gold and black slippers should be easy to find here too
I think I’ve decided on a very nice polished granite pestle and mortar for the gift … practical for grinding herbs (I know R has been properly trained by her Mum to cook!), and also an attractive item if she wishes to use it just for display.
Thank you both so much for taking time to help me out on this – I really appreciate it!
look,, its more culturally than religiously when it comes to weddings, so just dress up formally and no need to wear any head cover or anything cuz ur not bangali. u should know that muslims usually separate men and women in weddings, but not all the times. so just go there be natural and if ur a female, u can put an elegant scarf on ur head, if u dont desier then dont… and thats it. im not bangali but im muslim, and never mind any other costumes cuz those are all traditional bangali, not islamic…
have fun and if u need any other specific info feel free to email me
ur right, that outfit would be great.. and for the gifts thing just use ur thoughts and tatse ( which actually seems to be so elegant cuz ur asking these questions that show ur high politness level ) any way, for the gift thing again, as i said just go with ur chioce and be sure its not a bottle of fine wine or sumthin.( cuz in islam people are prohibited to drink alcoholic drinks ) and thats it…
have the best time and tell me how it was ?? 
Wedding invitation etiquette?
January 28, 2010
I sent my wedding invitations out over 3 weeks ago. I’m still not getting responses. I guess this is more of a rant…I cannot believe that people are so rude and haven’t returned their replies by the deadline!
My question…if the BRIDE herself personally called you and asked you if you were ever going to send back an RSVP, would you feel embarrased? It’s bad enough that I don’t want half of these people coming…my family is huge and we have to invite all of them or become the outcasts. I haven’t seen most of them since I was 2 years old…and I would never be able to point half of them out in a crowd!
Anyway, what is the best way to get my point across to these losers who have absolutely NO etiquette? I’ll be calling them all within the next day or so.
Thanks,
Bridezilla
I had the same problem. We gave them 6 weeks to reply but needed a number for the caterers after the deadline.
I called everyone who didn’t return the RSVP card. I didn’t beat around the bush but simply told them that I hadn’t received the reply card and was trying to get more definite numbers of who would be attending. They all understood this and simply replied to me over the phone.
I agree it is quite rude. If they expect to be fed, they should send in their numbers so there is enough food!
Wedding Invitation Etiquette.?
January 25, 2010
Wedding invitation etiquette states that when inviting an couple who you know are either engaged or in a long-term relationship and who do not live together you either put both names on the invitation and send it to the person you know most OR you send 2 separate invitations to both people.
iVillage’s "Sharon Naylor is the author of The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette" has this to say about – "TOP ETIQUETTE MISTAKES IN INVITATIONS: "Putting ‘And Guest’ when the recipient is in a long-term relationship or is engaged. Again, this is a research thing. Find out the names of your guests’ guests – you can call them directly if you have never known their significant other’s name, or ask a friend or relative for the info. It’s a gracious move that is the essence of good invitation etiquette."
http://weddings.ivillage.com/etiquette/etiquette/0,,naylor_bxsvgkr9-3,00.html
Also FrugalBride.com says "and guest" is only to refer to single people to bring a guest.
Follow these rules! Agree?!
Clearly you are referring to your post from earlier about your fiance being invited to his sister’s wedding with his name "and guest" instead of your name. However, you have deleted that question because of how clearly irate and irrational you are about this topic….so now you are looking for confirmation that you were wronged without showing everyone the backstory. *sigh*
To answer your question: Yes, proper etiquette says send two seperate invitations, or send to the parties with both names on the invite…and I think that is the way it should be done. However, sometimes people make mistakes, sometimes they don’t know the partner’s name.
In your case, they want your fiance there, no matter who he is with…because it is his sister’s wedding. Yes, you are engaged, but you are NOT married. Things could change between you and your fiance before the wedding, so by inviting him "and Guest" they are inviting the only sibling of the bride, and allowing him to bring whomever he wishes, since he is not married yet.
Please try not to take it personally, and let it go…Even your name says "Hurt". Come on….it is a piece of paper!! Two words! It was addressed John Doe "and guest"….not addressed to John Doe "and that jerk he is probably marrying". Now, THAT would have been insulting!
Inviting him "and guest" instead of addressing you by name was thoughtless and quite possibly rude, but not malicious. It is someone else’s wedding. If they want to word their invitations in a way that is not proper etiquette, that is their poor manners…not a reason for you to lose your mind.
Wedding response etiquette?
January 19, 2010
I’m trying to decide how to set up my response cards which will be included in my wedding invitations. Originally, I was going to do the traditional "mail back" card with the pre-stamped, pre-addressed envelope. However, with other events I have seen a serious lack of response from doing that. It’s almost as if people are too lazy to drop a pre-paid piece of mail in the mailbox.
I’m thinking about asking my guests to RSVP only to a wedding website (it has a nifty little RSVP function on it that it really simple to use), or for the people who may not have access to computers or the internet, add my phone number. Do you guys think I would get a better response that way? Or is this one of those "wedding etiquette" rules that I don’t even know I’m breaking?
Thanks!
Congrats.
I understand your frustration. I’ve been there myself. It’s still good etiquette to send the pre-stamped, pre-addressed RSVP cards or postcards for the convenience of your guests for medium to large formal and semiformal weddings. If you see how difficult it is to get responses with a convenient pre-stamped , pre-addressed card, don’t expect that they will write you a note of acceptance with their own stationary themselves. Most people lead much busier lives today than the high society people of yesterday where letter writing and penmanship was an art.
You can also include the website RSVP info. to give them an alternative. Add your phone number as well if you like, but then you’ll have to field phone calls when you might be busy with your planning. You want to make this convienient for you as well.
If you’re having a casual wedding, a website RSVP info. and/or phone number should suffice. There’s more flexibility with small casual weddings.
For all of these options, if you don’t receive RSVPS by the deadline, split up your "nonresponses" with your fiance, bridesmaids, etc. and call to verify attendance. It will be easier for you that way. Your "nonresponse" list will be a much shorter call list than a FULL invite list. You and your wedding party don’t want to be calling, leaving messages, and recalling EVERYBODY you’re inviting with wedding planning and other things to do.
proper etiquette for wedding invitations?
January 15, 2010
Which is correct??
Jane Jana Smith
and
James Jim Smith
Request the Honor of your presence at the celebration of their wedding
OR
Jane Jana Smith
and
James Jim Smith
Request the Honour of your presence at the celebration of their wedding
My Question is regarding the HONOR vs HONOUR
ps not real name 
Is it "honour" or "honor", "favour" or "favor"?
The old English spellings of "honour" and "favour" are usually preferred. But again this is a matter of personal choice and should reflect the formality of your invitation and event.
If you are planning a very small church wedding is it poor etiquette to not invite the congregation ?
January 11, 2010
We are planning a very small, simple ceremony at our church for my daughter & her fiance. The groom is VERY shy and would like the wedding to be immediate family & close friends ONLY. Would it be improper etiquette to NOT issue an invitation to the members of the church where the ceremony & reception will be held? The pastor of the church will be presiding over the ceremony & we will be using the church pianist & organist , all of whom will be paid for their services . Does that mean we automatically have to issue an open invitation to the church members. We dont want to offend anyone but at the same time it would make the groom very uncomfortable to have that many people present. Another consideration is the reception and the difference in the cost for a small reception for family or a large reception to accomadate a large church crowd. What would be the best way to handle the situation?
No, just invite who you want to be there. Although, don’t invite half the congregation and not the other half. That could be taken as an offense. Just invite family and really close friends and when people ask about it, just say that they only wanted a very small ceremony.
Proper Etiquette for wording Wedding Invitations?
January 8, 2010
My parents are paying for everything for the wedding, My fiance’s parents are divorced & aren’t paying for anything, He & I are paying the grooms portion. So, when I went to word my wedding invitations I was worried whether or not I should put my parents names & his parents names or not, and since his parents are divorced but his mother hasn’t reverted to her maiden name, I don’t want to announce them as Mr. & Mrs. because I feel they would be upset. His mothers phone is cut off & his father & I don’t really get along, his in the marines & is in a place where I can’t call him to ask him.
So I was wondering is it Poor etiquette for me to just have it worded as My parents?
Ex:
Mr. & Mrs. James Alan would like the pleasure of your
attendance at their daughter
Samantha Megan Alan
who will be marrying
Michael Damien Doe
on the…..
blah blah blah,
that isn’t how i worded mine. but you get the idea.
It would be more like:
Mr & Mrs James Alan request the honor of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Samantha Megan Alan to
Michael Damien Doe, etc.
Typically you acknowledge who’s paying and you don’t have to worry about it, but if you want to include his parents it would go on to say:
Michael Damien Doe
son of Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Mary Doe
Separating them that way is an indication that they are not a married couple.
Is it poor wedding etiquette to bring a same sex friend as your ‘date’?
January 2, 2010
I have been invited to a wedding in Denver (I live in California) for an old friend of mine. My college roomate also lives in Denver – so I thought it would be fun to bring her along as my ‘date’ since I I’ll be staying at her house and I won’t really know anyone at the wedding. I am married, but its really not in the budget for both my husband and I to fly to Denver. The invitation was addressed ‘and Guest’ – What is the rule here?
no, people do it all the time. as long as the person you bring ain’t a jerk and has a good time, nobody cares.
[edit] what’s up with the thumbs down? casue i answered in a way that made sense? seriously, if your invite says "guest" then you’re allowed a guest. just as long as they have a good time and are polite with people, that’s all that matters.
