Wedding Invitation Etiquette 101: a Quick Reference No Bride Should be Without
June 23, 2010
Everyone knows there is a certain form and etiquette to follow when composing and putting your wedding invitations in the mail. And while styles may differ, there are some accepted minimums you should follow.
Make sure time is on your side
Generally speaking you should have your wedding invitations in the mail six weeks prior to your wedding. You should allow even more if there are any special circumstances involved. If you’re planning a destination wedding or a wedding around the holidays you might want to give your guests a little more time.
Your save-the-date cards can be a big help here, too. As soon as you know the date and the venue, you are welcome to get your save the dates in the mail. I’ve worked with brides who have sent the save the date and hotel information as early as 6 to 8 months ahead of the invitation. Giving your out-of-town guests as much notice as possible ensures that they will have time to make plans, take time off from work if necessary and be there for your big day.
What else goes into the envelope?
Don’t forget to include either an RSVP card or another method for your guests to RSVP easily. You should include a reply card with a stamped envelope so your guest can let you know if they will be attending. More and more brides are sending their guests to their wedding website to RSVP and posting more and more information there. While it can be acceptable to mention wedding registry information on your website, it is never acceptable to mention this anywhere in your paper wedding invitation.
Your wedding website can be a great resource for your guests, but it is not an excuse to slack off on the rules. Be considerate and make of each guests feel welcome with a proper, paper wedding invitation.
The details
It is widely accepted that you not use any abbreviations on any part of your wedding invitation – with the only exception being for ‘Mr. and Mrs.” So, if you are inviting your uncle the physician and your aunt, the correct address would be ‘Doctor and Mrs. Smith.’
This continues to hold true for the date and time of your event. For example ‘Sunday the twenty third of October at half past five in the evening’ would take the place of Sun. Oct. 23rd at 5:30pm.
This continues to hold for the address on the outside and the reply card of your invitation. There is no St., Ave, or Apt #, but there is always Street, Avenue and Apartment number. The only exception to this rule is the comma that occurs between city and state – ‘Atlanta, Georgia’ is perfectly acceptable. Atlanta, GA is not.
There also should not be any punctuation on your wedding invitation. Again, the one exception to that is the punctuation that occurs after Mr. and Mrs. Your wedding invitation should read like an elegant, formal request, not a series of sentences.
Proper Wording
There are many styles and ways to word the actual invitation; you should make sure you consult an expert for your particular situation. Traditionally, a bride’s family was the ‘host’ and thus mentioned first on the invitation. Currently, there are many, many different ways to invite friends and family to your wedding. Often brides and grooms will host and not mention parents at all. The groom’s parents may be mentioned if they are hosting, parents of blended families, can be mentioned; the possibilities are endless. Consult the wording guide at MyExpression.com for wording suitable for your unique situation.
How to invite
Addressing your guests on your wedding invitation envelope is important also. When addressing an envelope to a single guest, it is not necessary to note ‘and guest’ on the envelope. If inviting an unmarried couple who live at the same address include both of their names on their own line. If inviting two people who live at the same address, but are room mates, send two separate invitations. Obviously, a married couple should be addressed as ‘Mr. and Mrs.’ or with their appropriate professional titles.
Amy Carter
http://www.articlesbase.com/weddings-articles/wedding-invitation-etiquette-101-a-quick-reference-no-bride-should-be-without-746487.html
Wedding invitation proper addressing?
November 29, 2009
My wedding invitations don’t have an internal envelope. I wish to invite children to the wedding and reception but I’m not sure of how to say that. Is it ok to address the envelope to each person in the family on the postal envelope? How do you think would be the best way and closest to proper etiquette?
According to wedding etiquette, you should put each persons name that is invited on the outside. Children younger than 18 can be included with their parents names. Children over 18 should recieve their own invitation.
Although and family should only be used on the inside envelope, in this case since you don’t have one if you don’t know everyone’s names you may have to resort to that. (I don’t think anyone will mind!)
Good luck!
How much does a calligrapher cost for wedding invitations?
November 29, 2009
About how much would it cost to have a calligrapher address 100 wedding invitations (front only, no return)? I’m just looking for a ballpark figure.
I should have specified – someone asked my mom to do theirs, and she wants to know what is reasonable to charge. She did mine for free 
$5 an invitation? Geez, that’s outrageous! It’s much cheaper to find someone locally who does calligraphy than to go with one of the internet companies that obviously scams people. ($5 an invite just amazes me. I wouldn’t want to pay that either!)
I’m paying $225 for 150 invitations (outside AND inside envelopes). It works out to be $1.50 per invitation.
Wedding invitations?
November 27, 2009
Hi all! When addressing wedding invitations should there be a period after Mr, Mrs etc…?
For example
Mr and Mrs John Smith
or Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
Mr. John Smith and guest
or Mr John Smith and guest.
What about Ms. vs Miss? Thanks!
Period after all of them except Miss if you are American. Sometimes other countries do not use the period. And Ms. is NOT for an unmarried woman, it is for ANY woman. Just as Mr. does not tell a person whether or not a man is married, Ms. does not make that distinction either. Miss is for an unmarried woman.
Mrs. and Miss are generally considered more formal, but making the distinction may be considered sexist by some today, so whether to use Mrs., Ms., or Miss really depends on the tastes of people you’re addressing. Older married women will often be quite happy with Mrs., while younger unmarried women may prefer Ms. to Miss.
How can I find someone to do calligraphy for my wedding invitations in the Northwest Chicago suburbs?
November 27, 2009
I need someone to address my wedding invitations in calligraphy in the northwest suburbs area of Chicago. I would prefer to use someone locally so I can pick up and drop off. Any suggestions? How do I search out such a person?
Try ifreelance.com
How should I address my wedding invitations?
November 22, 2009
I am sending out formal wedding invitations. How should I address them? I want for families to know that their children are invited. Do I call everyone Miss, Ms., Mrs. and Mr. or just my their first and last name? Is there a website that answers these questions?
Here, you can try these websites. They helped me when I was trying to address mine. Hope this helps…
http://www.wedalert.com/content/articles/address_invitations.asp
http://www.frugalbride.com/addressinvites.html
How to address wedding invitations?
November 22, 2009
I know there are a few different rules out there. The most traditional way is address the invite to "Mr & Mrs John Smith" and the modern way is "John and Mary Smith". What if you want to acknowledge the female’s name but at the same time keep the titles because they might otherwise be offended? Is "Mr John and Mrs Mary Smith" acceptable?
Also, some websites say you shouldn’t use "and family", but you should list all the kids names. What are people’s views on this?
Call me old fashioned, but "Mr & Mrs John Smith" is A-OK in my book. Its not like Mary isn’t going to know she is included in the invite – and I personally am looking forward to being able to get my mail Mr & Mrs John Doe – - I’m only in my 30′s and it will be a little exciting to see that!!!
If there is an inner envelope, then definitely write "John & Mary" on it, but if you only have the outter go for "Mr & Mrs John Smith".
"Mr John and Mrs Mary Smith" is acceptable – - but if I’m handwriting all those invites, its wordier than I would want to write!
"and family" is used whenever there are children under the age of 18. You would put the kids names on the inner envelope (if you have one), but "and family" on the outside is A-OK.
What is the proper way to write out the address on my wedding invitations?
November 20, 2009
Some of our friends live in apartments. Would I write A) 1234 East Main Street, Apartment F or B) 1234 East Main Street Apartment F or is there another way?
Choice A is the correct way to do it.
Scroll down to the last line of addressing etiquette.
http://www.elegala.com/go/ideas_advice/for/wedding_invitations/
What is the best way to address wedding invitations, when there is no inner envelop?
November 20, 2009
I am trying to figure out the best way to address people on the outer envelop, since we don’t have an inner envelop to use. Ie for a married female friend and her husband, the formal way is Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, But the invitation is actually to her and I would like to put her name on it, ie Mary and John Smith. Also for families would it be Mrs. Mary Smith and family?
Don’t stress too much on the "proper" way to do it. Just make sure that it clearly indicates who is invited. You usually use the inner envelope to list out the specific invitees, so be specific on your outer envelopes so you don’t have a bunch of unexpected guests.
If the spouse is also invited (which is typical if you are inviting married guests) you could use Mr and Mrs John Smith, Mr and Mrs Smith, or John and Mary Smith. Mary won’t be offended if her husbands name is listed first. It’s her husband anyways.
If you are specifically closer to Mary (and not John) and she has a family, I think Mrs Mary Smith and family is ok. But you could also write The Smith Family or Mr and Mrs John Smith and family.
Good luck!
Addressing invitations? How do I …?
November 16, 2009
… address a wedding invitation and make it known tactfully that I wish it to be an adult only affair? I will be hosting my wedding reception at my home in the near future.
You list only those whom you wish to invite on the outside of the inner envelope. Only those listed are invited.
It is considered rude to put "no children" or "adults only" on your invitations. Word of mouth works fairly well in letting people know your intent.
If someone RSVPs with more guests than you wrote on the invitation, and you know that means they would be bringing their kids, you might want to give them a call and let them know there is a limit on the number of guests, and you would prefer they not bring their children.
Congrats on your upcoming nuptials.
