What is the best way to address wedding invitations, when there is no inner envelop?
November 20, 2009
I am trying to figure out the best way to address people on the outer envelop, since we don’t have an inner envelop to use. Ie for a married female friend and her husband, the formal way is Mr. and Mrs. John Smith, But the invitation is actually to her and I would like to put her name on it, ie Mary and John Smith. Also for families would it be Mrs. Mary Smith and family?
Don’t stress too much on the "proper" way to do it. Just make sure that it clearly indicates who is invited. You usually use the inner envelope to list out the specific invitees, so be specific on your outer envelopes so you don’t have a bunch of unexpected guests.
If the spouse is also invited (which is typical if you are inviting married guests) you could use Mr and Mrs John Smith, Mr and Mrs Smith, or John and Mary Smith. Mary won’t be offended if her husbands name is listed first. It’s her husband anyways.
If you are specifically closer to Mary (and not John) and she has a family, I think Mrs Mary Smith and family is ok. But you could also write The Smith Family or Mr and Mrs John Smith and family.
Good luck!
9 Responses to “What is the best way to address wedding invitations, when there is no inner envelop?”
i don’t know. But on mine they put Mr. and Mrs. John Smith
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By Love not hate on Nov 20, 2009
Always use the husbands name. Doesn’t matter if she is your friend or he is, they are one.
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By Kellie L on Nov 20, 2009
Mr. John and Mrs. Mary Smith and family.
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By Lydia on Nov 20, 2009
That’s exactly what I did on my invitations. I put the names of both people on the envelope, for example, Mary and John Smith, and then if there was also children, I just added "and family" to it. For my single friends, I even put "Mary Smith and Guest" on the outer envelope.
Keep in mind that it all depends on your guests and how fussy they are about those types of things. I knew that my guests were all fairly laid-back and not the types to get their knickers in a twist over how an invitation was addressed, but there are those out there who take these things very seriously. You just have to know your audience.
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By travel_girl on Nov 20, 2009
This dilemma is why there are two envelopes. You would still put Mr. and Mrs. John Smith on the envelope, regardless of who is your friend. Add and family if you are inviting the whole family. However, be advised that doing so can open you up to getting way more people invited to your wedding than you may have bargained for. My cousin did that and ONE response card came back with 36 people coming. You might want to reconsider the inner envelope as a way to control your guest list.
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By maigen_obx on Nov 20, 2009
Just put both of their their names: John and Mary Smith.
or: Family of John and Mary Smith
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By SE on Nov 20, 2009
Don’t stress too much on the "proper" way to do it. Just make sure that it clearly indicates who is invited. You usually use the inner envelope to list out the specific invitees, so be specific on your outer envelopes so you don’t have a bunch of unexpected guests.
If the spouse is also invited (which is typical if you are inviting married guests) you could use Mr and Mrs John Smith, Mr and Mrs Smith, or John and Mary Smith. Mary won’t be offended if her husbands name is listed first. It’s her husband anyways.
If you are specifically closer to Mary (and not John) and she has a family, I think Mrs Mary Smith and family is ok. But you could also write The Smith Family or Mr and Mrs John Smith and family.
Good luck!
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By calimami on Nov 20, 2009
Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Family is best — go formal.
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By Mari N on Nov 20, 2009
Why not go to Wal-Mart and buy some additional envelopes so you can have both?
I used a DIY kit that only came with one set of envelopes. I used those as inners since they were so pretty. I bought large white envelopes (about $5 for 50 envelopes) and used them as outers. This worked perfectly and made my invites look much more professional. It was really inexpensive as well!
This way you won’t have to worry about the "and guest" "and family" or other naming issues.
Also, I’d recommend addressing it as Mr. and Mrs. John Smith on the outer. Mary is your friend, but traditionally you use the man’s name. Then the inside envelope will read:
Mr. and Mrs. Smith
Child 1 and Child 2
This way you have spelled out exactly who is invited, so hopefully no mystery guests will be RSVP’d! Good luck!
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Just sent out my invites today!
By elsie on Nov 20, 2009