PC way to address of formal wedding invitations?
November 16, 2009
In addressing formal wedding invitations, what is the best way to avoid saying Mr. and Mrs. Jon Doe on the envelope without it sounding clunky and yet remaining formal? I have always hated that the woman’s name is not on there, but I am not sure how to write it so that it recognizes the woman as her own person and yet reflects the formality of the occasion. Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe seems a bit tortured.
Any feminists with a flair for etiquette out there? Thanks for any help.
Place the names on separate lines, thus:
Mrs. Jane Doe
Mr. John Doe
(There’s no rule that spouses must share the same line of an address. And it should also be noted that the outside of the envelope is information for the postman, not the wedding guests, so the formality of the occasion really doesn’t have anything to do with it.)
8 Responses to “PC way to address of formal wedding invitations?”
John & Jane Doe
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By Magick Kitty on Nov 16, 2009
If they share the same last name Mr. & Ms. Smith.
(or Ms. and Mr. if you prefer)
It acknowledges both parties equally.
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By mbaamwenzi on Nov 16, 2009
If you truly want a formal wedding, then do it right & address your envelopes "Mr. & Mrs." Trying to be "PC" on wedding invitations is a little "NUT-C", to me – just my opinion! (Now, don’t get mad…)
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By eillem123 on Nov 16, 2009
TRY PUTTING IT THIS WAY .MR AND MRS. JHON AND JANE DOE. OR TRY THIS THE DOESJOHN AND JANE
FOR MY FIRST WEDDING , WE PUT THE LAST NAME ON OUTER ENV. AND FIRST NAME INCUDING ANY CHILDREN
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By ladygambler76067 on Nov 16, 2009
To completely comply with etiquette, you should stick with the traditional "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe" on the outer envelope. The inside envelope may be labeled "Sue and John." In that case, the woman’s name is always listed first.
If you would still like to update the outer envelope’s address, consider trying "Mrs. Susan and Mr. John Doe." Just a suggestion.
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By annd13 on Nov 16, 2009
You can’t be formal and address the way you want. However,It’s your wedding, do as you wish! But I warn you, some may take the wording of the address as a lack of etiquette. You could address the inside envelope with just first names.
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By bubbles on Nov 16, 2009
Place the names on separate lines, thus:
Mrs. Jane Doe
Mr. John Doe
(There’s no rule that spouses must share the same line of an address. And it should also be noted that the outside of the envelope is information for the postman, not the wedding guests, so the formality of the occasion really doesn’t have anything to do with it.)
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By JonV on Nov 16, 2009
After thinking this over, and reading the other posters’ suggestions, I still think for your occasion the traditional "Mr. and Mrs. John Doe" is the most appropriate. However, if this absolutely sticks in your craw, go with "Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe." Btw, a vast majority of married women don’t take offence at being addressed as "Mrs. John Doe" in this situation. If you have someone particular that you know would be offended, address their invitation "Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe", and address everyone else’s in the more traditional way.
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By missbeans on Nov 16, 2009