How to address wedding invitations?
November 22, 2009
I know there are a few different rules out there. The most traditional way is address the invite to "Mr & Mrs John Smith" and the modern way is "John and Mary Smith". What if you want to acknowledge the female’s name but at the same time keep the titles because they might otherwise be offended? Is "Mr John and Mrs Mary Smith" acceptable?
Also, some websites say you shouldn’t use "and family", but you should list all the kids names. What are people’s views on this?
Call me old fashioned, but "Mr & Mrs John Smith" is A-OK in my book. Its not like Mary isn’t going to know she is included in the invite – and I personally am looking forward to being able to get my mail Mr & Mrs John Doe – - I’m only in my 30′s and it will be a little exciting to see that!!!
If there is an inner envelope, then definitely write "John & Mary" on it, but if you only have the outter go for "Mr & Mrs John Smith".
"Mr John and Mrs Mary Smith" is acceptable – - but if I’m handwriting all those invites, its wordier than I would want to write!
"and family" is used whenever there are children under the age of 18. You would put the kids names on the inner envelope (if you have one), but "and family" on the outside is A-OK.
8 Responses to “How to address wedding invitations?”
I feel the same way about acknowledging both the man and woman on the invitation. I wrote Mr & Mrs John Smith on my engagement party thank you’s, and my FMIL basically said that’s tacky and you can’t do that. I feel that since it was only a casual thank you card, I can address it however I want. For the wedding invites I’m giong to do it the traditional way, for two reasons. 1, to make them seem more formal, and 2, so my guests don’t think I’m clueless about the proper way to address an envelope.
As far as the "and family," the rule of thumb is, if a child is 18 or over you need to send them their own invite, even if they live in the same house as the parents. If they are young children, I personally think you absolutely can say "and family." What if they have 4 kids? You can’t be expected to write "Mr & Mrs. John Smith and Bob and Joe and Karen and Tim." That’s just nuts.
References :
Planning my wedding.
By Melissa B on Nov 22, 2009
Are you using double envelopes? I’m using both outer and inner envelopes. For my aunt, uncle, and 2 cousins (both under the age of 13), I’m addressing the outer Mr. and Mrs. Steven Jones and family, and the inner will be Craig, Jodi, Matt, and Megan (Steven is my uncle’s real name, but he goes by his middle name, Craig).
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By Mrs Noel ♥6/19/2010♥ on Nov 22, 2009
the way i did mine was Mr. & Mrs. John Smith, unless I did not know the female’s spouse’s name. how awkward is it when you’ve known a person forever and don’t know their husband’s name? In that case I would put Mary Smith and family…
i did the ‘and family’ thing…i don’t think anyone will get, like, offended by it.
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By simple on Nov 22, 2009
Yes, Mr. John and Mrs. Mary Smith is fine. Use ‘and family’ – it’s most acceptable and friendly.
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By Lydia on Nov 22, 2009
Mr. John and Mrs. Mary Smith and family is good enough.
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By LOViiN Y0U BABii <3 on Nov 22, 2009
Call me old fashioned, but "Mr & Mrs John Smith" is A-OK in my book. Its not like Mary isn’t going to know she is included in the invite – and I personally am looking forward to being able to get my mail Mr & Mrs John Doe – - I’m only in my 30′s and it will be a little exciting to see that!!!
If there is an inner envelope, then definitely write "John & Mary" on it, but if you only have the outter go for "Mr & Mrs John Smith".
"Mr John and Mrs Mary Smith" is acceptable – - but if I’m handwriting all those invites, its wordier than I would want to write!
"and family" is used whenever there are children under the age of 18. You would put the kids names on the inner envelope (if you have one), but "and family" on the outside is A-OK.
References :
By nova_queen_28 on Nov 22, 2009
Childrens names are only listed on the interior envelop
your outer envelop should be properly addresses as Mr& Mrs John Smith
You can acknowledge her name on the inner envelop and should do so.
Outer : Mr & Mrs John Smith
2016 Happy Ln,
Anywhere, any State 00000
Inner :John, Mary, Paul and Faye
References :
High School English 1954
By shihtzulover123 on Nov 22, 2009
mr. and mrs. john and mary smith is fine. you only use ‘and family’ if you want them to bring all their kids, which i don’t recommend. you want to pay $50+ per plate to feed children food they won’t like? weddings are for adults, keep it formal.
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By D4Pres2012 on Nov 22, 2009