Wedding etiquette for invitations.?
December 30, 2009
We are getting married, and our entire wedding guest is a max of 50.
The reception is immediately following, in the same location, with a limit of an hour.
The reception includes an open bar and champagne toast.
The wedding/reception takes place approximately 50 miles from our home.
We have a lot of family and friends, so the 50 guest is going to go fast.
a lot of our guest have 2-4 children, the children are also counted as guest and cuts into our max of 50 guest. With this I was thinking of including “adult reception immediately following”
That away people would get the hint no children with out being rude and offensive.
Its not that we don’t want the children there, its just that with a limited guest list, the children take up 1/3 of it and we will be unable to invite more people that we would like to come.
Can you please help me with any other ideas, or give your opinion. I really don’t want to come across rude, or people to take it the wrong way. Please please help!!!!!! Thanks so very very much!!!
We can not up the guest, it’s a planned set amount due to the location of the wedding.
And this is the wedding we have wanted so it’s a downfall, to our perfect wedding.
Etiquette state you shouldn’t put Adult only" on your invitations.
The outside envelope should say
Mr and Mrs Doe
inside envelope should say
Joe and Jane
No family or kids names.
Unfortunately some people don’t have a clue this means children are not invited.
Since you are only having 50 guests I would let it travel by word of mouth this is an adult only wedding.
I had 90 guests at my wedding and filled out the invitations as above. I did have one cousin reply back with her children included. I called her and explained that we would love to see their children, but this was an adult only reception and could I still put you and your husband down as coming? I didn’t go into an explanation as to why children weren’t invited. Sorry but that can open you up to. Oh I will pay for them to come, or they can sit on my lap, or they won’t be any trouble.
Wedding Invitation Wording?
December 27, 2009
Hi,
I’ve been going back and forth on so many aspects of my wedding invitations. One moment I think I have it, then I read a new guide/post/discussion on wedding etiquette and I am up in chaos again. This is what’s going on:
1) My parents divorced when I was 11
2) My Mom remarried when I was 12
3) My mom and step-father divorced when I was 20
4) My Dad remarried when I was 22
5) My step-father is still a huge part of my life and I still call him dad even legally now he is not
6) We will not be serving alcohol at the reception but might possibly have a champagne toast
7) We do not want kids under the age of 15 attending for location and budget reasons
All parties here are chipping in for the cost of the wedding along with me and my fiance. I don’t want to leave anyone exluded and have worded my invitation for the hosting as:
“Together with their families
<My name>
and
<my Fiances’ name>…”
As for the no children part, I included the last line with,
“Adults only reception to immediately follow in the back gardens”
On the reception card, I want to somehow name out all my parents and would like to use previous advice with,
Ms. <My mom’s name>
Mr. and Mrs. <My dad’s full name to include my step-mom>
Mr. <Stepfather’s name>
Request the pleasure of your company
at the wedding reception
following the ceremony
in the back gardens of the mansion
Does this ramble too much? Is there a way to streamline it a bit?
Also, I want to include more information on the ‘no-kids’ part by somewhere including our wedding site address where we speak more on our reason not to include kids along with the cut off age. Where would be the best place to include this information? On the invitation or the reception card?
I know everyone has their own opinions on whether or not kids should be invited but as we are on a budget especially with the economy, to invite all the kids in both our families would add too much expense to our wedding for us to reasonably afford.
You’re not obligated to invite children to your wedding, but you’d let your guests know who is invited only by listing the names of the guests invited on the inner envelope and omitting the names of those you do not want to invite.
Your wording would depend on the formality and venue. The wording you are using is informal and not usually used for a church wedding.
Get yourself a good wedding etiquette book like Peggy Post’s Etiquette which should serve you well.
Need help with wedding etiquette?
December 25, 2009
I need help with a few things here..
1. How early before the wedding should invitations be sent out? [We didn't do Save-the-Dates]
2. They say it’s rude to send where you’re registered in the invitation.. So how do people know?
3. Would it be rude to not send a stamped and self-addressed envelope with the RSVP cards?
4. Do bridesmaids already know that they buy their own dresses, or should I tell them?
Thanks for all your help!
1- You should send out your invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding. Any sooner and you risk the invitations getting lost on people’s kitchen counters and forgotten about. Any later and you risk the possibility of the guests already having plans for that day.
2-People will know where you’re registered in one of two ways: they will either call up your parents, MOH, bridesmaids, etc. and ask where you are registered, or they will receive the registry info from your MOH and bridesmaids when they send them the bridal shower invitation. another way they could find out is if you have a wedding website, because it’s perfectly acceptable to post registry info on there.
3- Yes, you must send a stamped, self-addressed RSVP card. One way to cut down on the expense is to have RSVP postcards instead. Postcards only need about half as much postage as a regular envelope.
4- Most bridesmaids assume that they are responsible for the cost of their wedding attire, but if you suspect for any reason that one of them expects you to pay for it, just tactfully let them know that the cost is their responsibility as one of their bridesmaid duties. (Like you could say, "I picked out this dress because I thought it would be an option that all of the bridesmaids can easily afford.")
Good luck!
Need info on wedding etiquette when it comes to invitations?
December 19, 2009
If we are inviting people to the evening do only, do you still invite them to the church? Also, there would be a waiting time between the wedding which starts at 12 pm and the evening do at 7 pm…so if they were coming to just the evening reception, they would have a wait….
If you are inviting certain people to the evening do only then you wouldn’t invite them to the church. You can get separate invitations for people you intend to just invite to the evening part than from the people you are inviting for the full day.
Is this good etiquette for a wedding invitation?…..
December 16, 2009
I received a wedding invitation in the mail and in the invitation was a message on the bottom that said "We gladly accept gift certifiates from the following stores……"
Then there was a list of about 5 stores. I found this to be pretty gutsy and rude especially since this couple have been living together for a long time and they both have been married before (not to each other).
Be honest if you think I am being too anal. Usually, I am very easy going. I just found this rude and while sure it would be practical to have gift cards, I wouldn’t have the nerve to ask for them! Maybe thats just me.
Not only does it take a bit of chutzpah to make your wedding present request on the invitation, but the wording…they will "gladly accept" cards from those stores??! Well, thank goodness they will at least accept those gifts. I wonder if you get them a gift card from elsewhere, will they unhappily reject it?
Wedding invitations etiquette?
December 14, 2009
My best friend is my maid of honor in my wedding. Her boyfriend/soon-to-be fiance is a good friend of my fiance and I. Do I send an invitation to him or do I just assume that he will be there as my maid of honor’s date?
Everyone who is invited should receive an invitation – This includes your maid of honour’s boyfriend. In fact, your maid of honour (and the rest of the bridal party) should also receive invitations. Finally, don’t overlook your parents – They should also be receiving invites.
When a single male received a wedding invitation, can he bring a date?
December 1, 2009
I always thought that when a single female receives a wedding invitation, she can RSVP and bring an escort. But a single male must RSVP as a ’stag’ Am I correct according to proper wedding etiquette.
whether you’re male or female, you can only bring a date if the invitation is addressed to you ‘and guest’. if the bride and groom addressed the invitation to you only, then you have to go stag. it’s VERY gauche for you to bring a date who’s not invited, there are seating and budget concerns to think of.